H5N1 Killed a Wild Swan

Well, who'd have thought a pandemic would threaten the entire planet, other than BSP?

"H5N1 Killed a wild swan,
It was a kind of omen
Of everything to come.
I can't believe it's happening
And that it's happening now.
I can't believe it's happening,
It's coming true somehow."

The first verse from "Canvey Island", a song that if I'm honest is probably my all time favourite song of theirs, from album #3, the Mercury Prize nominated Do You Like Rock Music. Substitute COVID19 for H5N1 and that's the situation we are all in at the moment. The idea of setting off on the 1st of June looks like it might not happen, and trying not to think about it is absolutely impossible what with the intense media coverage and the governments somewhat inadequate response and constant fibbing.

I guess we will all have to wait and see how this all pans out.

Camper-van ... rent or buy

I initially thought I'd be able to bang this journey out in about six weeks during the summer months, and that I'd do the trip in a camper-van so I could stop where I wanted (within reason) and not have to either pay out for b'n'b's or have to erect a tent every night. Then I realised, after doing a preliminary route plan that it would take me a lot longer than six weeks. I also did a little search of rental camper-vans and quickly realised it would cost me a fortune, as I'd be lucky to find anything half decent for less than £75 a day.

It had been my intention to take early retirement at the end of spring 2020, and use the "lump sum" from my pension pot to finance the journey, but the combination of a back injury and pressure from husband, friends and my Union rep put a halt to this idea. After almost 21 years in the Ambulance Service, I felt physically and emotionally drained. I'm currently hoping for "redeployment" and being granted 3 months unpaid leave to do the epic trip. I've yet to hear back from either.

But back to the question of transport. My husband Guy is pretty knowledgeable  about cars - I'd say that cars are his number one hobby judging by the amount of car related TV shows he watches, and that he gets a monthly car magazine to read in bed (although I have no idea which one, I just refer to them as his car porn). Whenever we are out together and he spots an interesting car, I have to ask "what colour?" Anyway, wanting to show a bit more interest in my crazy idea and knowing I didn't have a clue, he took it upon himself to sort out a camper van for me. He quickly decided on which make after seeing our friends rather lovely Toyota Alphard conversion. After joining the "Alphard Appreciation Society" (well, something like that) on a well known social media site, he found a couple of suitable vehicles for sale at a reasonable price. The first one was sold by the time he rang, so he went after the next one in earnest.

The following Saturday, we leave the house before 6am and drive down to Falmouth in Cornwall with every intention of coming back the same day the proud owners of a Toyota Alphard. Chrissy, the woman who sold it to us was quite amazing really. Having had a very close call with a potentially fatal tumour, she had decided to sell her house as well as her Alphard, buy a much bigger mobile home and head out over-land to Singapore. Her generosity knew no bounds as she threw in a huge number of extras including a drive-away awning, everything you'd want to prepare a nutritious meal bar food, fairy lights and a camping toilet. We parted like old friends and made our way back to north London feeling very lucky indeed.

The last problem was where to put it until we were ready to tax and insure it. After showing it off to the friends who have an Alphard and to our neighbours who have heard all about my plan to travel the entire coastline, we took it to Reading where Guy's Mum lives. Luckily, the in-laws have allowed me to park it in front of their garage which is almost totally hidden from view from the rest of the house, so no one would know it was there.

List of places

So, one of the first things I got around to doing was to make a list of all the places on the Germinal CCXXIV mug and T-shirt, and then find them on a map. The listing bit was easy, and my page on "Rate Your Music" (or Sonemic as I believe to be known as now) was where it first appeared;  The list of places on the BSP "Germinal CCXXIV" T-Shirt should take you to the page.

When I said it was easy, in reality it was pretty damn difficult and time consuming and it took me days to find them all. Even now I'm not sure about one or two - some of them are names of more than a single place (for example, there are two "Holy Island"'s and two beaches known as "Hell's Mouth", and there are a number of places you can find "Phoenix Caisson"'s which were concrete harbours built during WW2). Other places were fiendishly difficult to pin down ("The Road", "The Neck" and "The Scalp" were particularly tricky, and I often discovered them by accident rather than after exhaustive internet searches - I eventually found a small stretch of beach in North Devon called "The Neck" when we were staying with some friends at Anderton House in Goodleigh, and I was studying an Ordnance Survey map under a sheet of glass on one of the tables).

For months I was sure that there were two fake place names. "Spliff Island" was the most obvious, and "Moist Covert" yielded some very strange suggestions on Google. One night as I was re-reading "Do It For Your Mum", the excellent memoir of BSP's early years by Hamilton and Scott's older brother Roy. Chapter three is titled "Nettle monger on the approaches to Spliff Island" *bingo* All I needed to do now was find the campsite in Hopeman, head down to the beach and look for a rocky outcrop and make an educated guess at which one looks comfortable enough to have a joint on.

Another place name that really confused me was "The Cob". For ages, I just assumed whoever compiled the list had made a spelling error, or when the list went off to the printers, they made the error and what it was meant to say was "The Cobb"; the Cobb being the breakwater made famous by "The French Lieutenant's Woman" with the iconic picture of Meryl Streep and Jeremy Irons having a snog in a storm. Turns out there IS a road bridge known as the Cob in Wales which takes you from Porthmadog to Portmeirion. There is even a shop (which I'm hoping is still there) called Cob Records. I only found this out when doing a bit of route planning, but these little discoveries please me no end.

While planning the trip, I discovered that you can only take a boat trip out to "The Royal Sovereign" during the month of August. The Royal Sovereign is a huge lighthouse  out in the English Channel that can be seen all along the coast from Eastbourne to Hastings. Prior to 1971, the light came from a light vessel that had been there since 1875. I spent a very miserable few years as a boarder at a Prep School in Eastbourne, and would often stare out the window and look at the light coming from the Royal Sovereign. Doing a boat trip to get close would be fantastic, but much to my dismay, Trinity House, the company who run many of Britain's lighthouses have announced that they are going to decommission and dismantle the lighthouse this spring. I felt really quite sad about this news, as by the time I finally get Germinal CCXXIV on the road, it will be no more.

The only place I'll never be able to visit (unless I have a huge Lottery win) is "Rockall". It's a rock somewhat dubiously claimed by the British Government that is 290 odd miles out in the Atlantic off the coast of Scotland. There are intrepid types offering a boat trip out there, but it costs a packet.

As for the rest, well, they should all be all be either visitable or in the case of some of the most inaccessible, at least visible from the nearest bit of coast or from going on a boat trip.

I do love a good list.

How it all started

In the spring of 2016, British Sea Power introduced two pieces of merchandise that gave me a somewhat bonkers idea. A T-shirt (more about BSP and T-shirts later) and a Mug (ditto) titled "BSP Germinal CCXXIV" listed 116 British coastal place names, and the moment I saw them, I thought "Road Trip!"

According to BSP HQ, at least one of the places was fictional, and at least one of them is pretty much impossible for mere mortals like me to ever visit, but as for the other 114, well, for a BSP obsessive like myself, what better challenge is there than to visit them all. Obviously not in order, as a few people asked, they clearly have no idea how far Bass Rock is from The Armed Knight, or just how long it would take to go from Wolf Rock to Vidlin Voe and then back to Zennor Head!

So this is the unfolding story of the preparations for, and hopefully if it all goes according to plan, an account of my BSP influenced trip around the Great British Coast.